


Where Else Am I Going to Get a View like This?

by BlackWidette



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A Moment Taken in the Heat of Battle, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Being a Good Person, Black Widow - Freeform, Changing Her Life, Dat Hidden Meaning, Floating Sokovia, Heaven, Joss is Boss, Moving On, Past Lives, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Red Room, So Proud of this Girl, Ultron - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 13:42:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3812644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackWidette/pseuds/BlackWidette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AGE OF ULTRON SPOILERS!!! </p>
<p>As Sokovia is ripped apart and flown towards the atmosphere by Ultron's vibranium built thrusters with the aim to fire the city back into Earth and eliminate all human life, Natasha takes a brief moment to be proud of herself and all she has become....</p>
<p>Something I felt Joss was hinting at when I watched Age of Ultron last night...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Else Am I Going to Get a View like This?

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching Age of Ultron last night in the cinemas and I'm always very emotional when watching Avengers because obvious feels, but I feel a strong kinship with Black Widow, she's been through so much dark and has been to hell and back and once you've seen that really dark side of the world, you can never not notice it. Never not be afraid or nervous by the slightest hint of it and that can be so exhausting.
> 
> Having PTSD never really goes away, there'll be really hard days and those days, you feel like you're right back there again and you'll never be able to escape it all. But eventually the good days start to outweigh the bad and what gets you through to that is to make it up to the younger you that lost all those opportunities of having a good life, without all the fear.
> 
> So when Natasha talks about the view, the emotions that came with that line were so strong and intense, I wanted to share the possibility that this was what she was thinking underneathe it all, because I know I can't be the only one.
> 
> Be strong guys and find your heroes wherever you need to in order to shine again.
> 
> <3

"There are worse ways to go... Where else am I going to get a view like this?"

Looking out over the crumbling edge of the section of Sokovia that Cap and her were standing on, she thought briefly of her past.

Ultron's apocalyptic vibranium efforts took them higher through the sky, so high that they were amongst the clouds and she could see the sunlight hitting the fluffy tops of the layers, creating a sight she'd never thought she'd see with her feet on.. well... mostly solid ground.

She felt sadness for the hidden truth in her words.  
The only place she would ever get a view like this, she knew she would never go.  
She'd done too much harm, too much bad to ever be accepted through those pearly gates.

But just like her literal partner in crime was saying to the witch on the other side of the floating city, unbeknownst to her; "it doesn't matter where you've been or what you've done... I go back out there because it's my job, it's what I gotta do."

Since she changed her story, since she found her own, right path, her life has been for herself and herself only. Every morning she gets up because she has to, she has to for her. Every good choice she makes, every secret she doesn't steal, every person she helps, every life she saves... It's all for herself.

A silent apology to the young redheaded girl with so much potential that she had slowly torn apart and destroyed by making the wrong decisions time after time. Everyday is a chance she can right the wrongs she's made, so she can leave this world truly proud of herself and the life she has lived. So that there is so much good that all the bad seems like a dream, like that of a childhood memory of falling and scraping your knee, you know you did it and it hurt a lot but the pain is no longer felt anymore.

The feeling of guilt and shame from her past, only brief as she looked out at a heaven of her own. Heaven, because she was alongside her friends, she was willing to sacrifice her life to save the world, she was fighting on the right side and that red headed young girl would be so, so goddamn proud of her.

And that makes her so good.


End file.
